Hi friends,
I’ve been thinking about joy, mostly the deeper joy that lingers even when life gets messy. That’s to say, not the fleeting kind that comes with a good score on the market or a piece of good news.
For me, joy typically appears in rituals and simple pleasures: walking Stewart along the trail, feeling the sand and the wind as the day slows; connecting with someone over coffee; spending hours out in nature; sitting down to a good meal with a glass of wine, savoring conversation as much as the food; and exercise, where body and mind fall into step.
What I keep realizing is that joy is less about chasing life’s bigger moments and more about paying attention to the ordinary ones. It’s a kind of anchor, and it leaves me wondering: how do you find joy? What are the moments, however fleeting, that remind you you’re alive?
That’s the question I’ve been sitting with, and the one others have answered in their own words below, all curated from the wonderful Red Hand Files blog. Across the world, people have found joy in the smallest gestures, the briefest encounters, the simplest rituals. Their stories follow. I’ve selected some of my favorites, but you may find the full list worth a read, too.
May the following inspire you to think more mindfully or intentionally about joy in your own life, and the everyday ways it shows up.
As the poet Mary Oliver wrote: “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it.”
ERIC, MONTREAL, CANADA: Nothing brings me more joy than looking at my wife when she is happy and smiling.
JUHA, ST ALBANS, UK: I find joy in seeing the sunlight hit a silvery trail left on the pavement by a slug as I walk back from a nursery run on a crisp morning.
ELLEN, BETHESDA, USA: I find joy in experiencing the happiness of strangers.
ANNE, GLASGOW, UK: Joy comes through appreciating a beautiful piece of music, a beautiful artwork, and being in good company. Listening to birdsong always makes me joyful.
SIMONNE, BUNDALONG, AUSTRALIA: Beauty. Love. Simplicity.
HEIKKI, HELSINKI, FINLAND: Gardening.
DASA, LOS BADALEJOS, SPAIN: Every evening in the countryside, walking my dogs. And dancing. Oh, yes! Dancing is a pure joy.
JAMES, LAGUNA NIGUEL, USA: Sunrise. First light and breath. Memory of a past love after catching a hint of perfume from a passerby. Paella. Resolution in a musical piece. A good deed. A nice smile. A warm shower. Clean white sheets and comfy bedding. My wife’s smile and my wife’s electric blue dresses. Any hedonistic endeavor, I suppose.
CINDY, ASSE, BELGIUM: When I listen to music thoughtfully instead of in the background, when I walk in the park and feel the sun on my face and I stand still and breath, when I receive a letter from a friend with loving words that I can reread, when I sit in the couch next to my sons and we can laugh about the same things.
CHRIS, PERTH, AUSTRALIA: Joyful is watching people you know enjoying success. Helping a friend when they are under duress. Enjoying the sunset wherever you are.
PERNILLE, LEJRE, DENMARK: Two years ago, I was in a very dark place, until I hit my limit... my Long Dark Night, if you will. I had to find joy again. And it was, as it is now, very much in seeing the beauty in the little things. The beauty of sunlight hitting a leaf just right, the beauty of steam rising from my first cup of tea in the morning. Wet grass under my bare feet. And I have found that my little moments of joy has started to accumulate, and all around me I see little sparks of beauty and magic. I try to be in constant awe of the world around me, there is so much to discover. That is what brings me joy in my daily life.
MATTHEW, SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA: Pondering new ideas from other people. Sex with my wife, and waking up to see her lying next to me. The deep, deep peace when I know I am loved. Writing and reading.
PALOMA, MADRID, SPAIN: I find my joy in the excitement before doing something that I look forward to. It’s the feeling when you know something good is going to happen but it hasn’t happened yet and the possibilities are all still there.
WARATAH, NAMBUCCA HEADS, AUSTRALIA: It is found in presence—in a deep being with what is. With my body, with my child, with music, with my painting, with the natural world.
GILDA, FIGUEIRA DA FOZ, PORTUGAL: I find my joy mostly in little things in everyday life. For example, when my oldest daughter, still a very little girl, made her bed for the first time, it was such a joy for me that I cried with happiness.
Another example of joy was being able to take good care of my dying old godmother and be sure we had very difficult, but absolutely full of love, days before she died.
And one final example is the absolut joy I felt when i rode my bike for the first time, last year with 50 years Old and after “ages” for making the decision of buying and riding a bike. This joy was, and continues to be, indescribable: the ritual, the smells, the mindfulness, the freedom, the challenge of each trip. It’s a dream come true.
SI, LONDON, UK: Dancing. Fine food. Hearing my children laugh for the first time after their brother passed away. Computer programming. Eating after a prolonged period of hunger. Seeing my wife. The first beer. Playing the drums. Exercise. Fixing my home. Listening to music. The kindness of other people. Mushrooms. Cooking.
HARRY, LONDON, UK: Joy is the privilege of being alive. Joy is the first black coffee in the morning.
LEANNE, CREWKERNE, UK: Joy for me is simply being with my family; my husband and my two beautiful children.
ALINA, LOS ANGELES, USA: The other day, as I was driving through LA, I saw a bougainvillea in full bloom. In the late summer afternoon light, it looked like a fuchsia fire. It was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. I find joy in noticing things.
DANIEL, LANCASTER, ENGLAND: Two days before my son's first birthday, my mother died. That morning, a couple of hours later, I took a walk in the park as the sun was rising through the bare November trees. A man approached me while walking his dog cheerfully proclaiming “good morning, it’s a beautiful day!” I paused for a second and heartily replied “Good morning, yes it is”. Through the devastation I was experiencing I gave the most cheerful reply I’d ever given to a stranger. We passed by each other and that was that a small connection between two people who will never meet again. That small connection with that man changed my whole outlook. I could have trudged trough the park with my head down buried in sorrow but I thought you know what, it is a beautiful morning.
LISA, CLEAR LAKE, USA: I find joy in listening and singing to music, writing poems and screenplays, working on projects with other people, and being outside walking, riding a bike, or just sitting and taking it all in wherever I am. The best—taking in the immensity of a starry night with someone who loves it, too.
MARK, STOCKPORT, ENGLAND: Joy is when someone calls you for a chat for no reason at all, other than they just want to hear your voice. Joy is the sand beneath your fingernails when you’ve spent a day at the beach with the ones who matter most but still somehow seem to be moving ever farther away from you. Joy is the first and last time you laughed with your best friend.
LAURA, FITCHBURG, USA: Well, when my antidepressants are working, it’s much easier. I like to sit in the garden and weed, watching the insects go about their business. That’s my joy.
VICTORIA, KENILWORTH, UK: Simple joys, in no particular order: Reading in bed first thing in the morning, with a pot of good coffee. Listening to the wind in the trees. Listening to the rain while cosy indoors. Walking in the rain (if it’s soft rain)
Stargazing. Looking at the moon. Looking at paintings. Watching the clouds. Watching garden birds. Listening to the dawn chorus. People-watching (preferably from/in a cafe). Making someone laugh. Exchanging a smile with a stranger
The smell of the sea (I am far away from the sea). Sitting in a park. Reading in a park
Reading on a train. Lying in bed - I just love my duvet. Journeys. Singing (I am not a good singer, it’s just a joyous thing to do). I am sure there are more. I love life, especially the everyday things and the wonders of the world we live in. There is lots of joy in the small things.
KINGA, WARSAW, POLAND: I find joy in music, in people, in love, and more often now in stillness when nothing bad is happening. Recently, we almost lost my sister, but by a miracle, she is here, and I find joy in hearing my parents & her laughing while eating breakfast. Ordinary moments turn out to be the good old times.
DAVID, LOS ANGELES, USA: I find joy in the impermanence of everything.
ZOEY, SALT LAKE CITY, USA: My joy is brought into focus by others. Seeing and feeling others live and love and living and loving in return.
ASTRID, COPENHAGEN, DENMARK: I find my joy in movement. On my bike, moving, not the goal, just the wind in my face, the sheer joy of the ride. Knitting, my hands moving. Reading, my eyes moving, letting me travel anywhere. Being moved by the action or achievement of a stranger or someone close to me. Being moved by music.
ELISA, MALDEN, NETHERLANDS: I find joy in writing. It is hard work, but it helps me to go inwards and connect with myself and the divine.
ZAC, SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA: Surely, we find joy in doing the things we love.
It’s really that simple, so I’ll keep it there.
NICOLE, NEWPORT, AUSTRALIA: Today? Sitting down with a friend who really sees me while pouring a cup of tea from a teapot that someone else has made for me.
Dinner with my still living-at-home adult children, listening to them chatter about their day. Looking at the ocean and being reminded that I am but a small speck of nothingness.
SALLY, THORNBURY, AUSTRALIA: Hearing loved ones talking around me.
Floating on my back in the water, looking up at the sky. Holding hands. Two parrots flying by, squawking. Eating a blood orange straight from the tree. A gentle breeze on my face. Music filling the house.
KATIE, CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA: Joy is the chorus of birds on my morning walk.
FREJA, COPENHAGEN, DENMARK: I find my joy in stories. The ones that we tell, and the ones that we live. Everybody has one. And every story has both hardship and moments of serenity. That’s what makes them worth sharing.
HENRY, FORESTVILLE, USA: Kittens! Being in nature. Having purpose and vision and realizing its fruition. But most of all, sharing love with a partner, a family, a community in all the myriad magical ways we can and do. It’s how we keep our lost ones close. And gratitude.
STEVEN, MINNEAPOLIS, USA: Smile from a stranger. Meeting new people.
Traveling. Finally, as I fall asleep at night, feeling I have tried a little more to make the world I share with everyone a bit less cold and isolating.
NICKI, DAYTON, USA: My joy is being with family, close friends, and connecting with a younger family member, discovering that we love the same movie, music, or books. Seeing a great picture that I managed to snap, going to a baseball game and attending sports or scifi conventions. ‘Paying it forward’ and seeing another’s own joy and appreciation.
SAM, LEWISHAM, UK: I find joy in the absence of things. Nothing on my to-do list, being off my phone for much of the day, and an empty house.
MARTIN, LEEDS, UK: Walking along a beach. Cuddling my granddaughter. Listening to well-crafted and performed music. Contemplation. Observing a bird I’d not seen before. Eating a great meal. Creating something that didn’t exist before. Solving a problem that needed solving (either work or otherwise). Learning something new.
MARIO, CASERTA, ITALY: I find my joy every time I see the beauty of the world. When I travel and I discover new places, new cultures, new faces, new lives. I find my joy in peace of mind.
LUCY, DORCHESTER, UK: I find joy in the reading of searingly beautiful hand crafted words, in novels, in poetry, prose, plays and song lyrics.
Words that make me feel, move me to tears or just connect me to the thread and pulse of life.
ORAN, HERZLYIA, ISRAEL: Each day brings a new sunset of a slightly different color, further accentuated by the changing seasons. I have spent hundreds, if not thousands, of hours observing the sun as it sets across from my window, and not a moment wasted.
CHRISTINA, TAMPA, USA: Food—making it and sharing it with people I love. I especially love kneading bread dough—I find it meditative.
KAREN, NORTH BUXTON, CANADA: Planting trees and nurturing them brings me great joy.
FRANCESCA, LONDON, UK: 1) Being present and connected wherever I am (with art, people, nature, myself etc.) 2) Being curious – looking, listening, smelling, tasting and touching, learning about new things and relearning the familiar. 3) Being grateful – recognising the astonishing odds of being alive and the nearly infinite details that have aligned to make the present moment what it is.
JAY, THOUSAND OAKS , USA: Hot coffee on a grey Sunday morning, watching the winter birds forage. Owls hooting in the middle of the night. Hiking to wild flowers. A gentle breeze with the scent of sage. The sound of children laughing. The sound of birds laughing. My sister’s laugh. Sitting under an oak tree with a bottle of wine and friends. Feeding my loved ones.
MARK, CORTE MADERA, USA: Keep. It. Simple. An uncluttered life ensures there is space for joy.
