We’re all living on borrowed time
Being alive is a statistically remarkable gift
Since delving into the world of stoicism a few months ago, the idea of living on borrowed time has resonated deeply. The old saying, “We’re all living on borrowed time” says we are all mortal, death can come at any time and our lives are a limited resource, temporary and fragile. This mindset helps us devote ourselves to using our time carefully. Soak the most out of each day, each hug, each meal.
Here’s Ryan Holiday: If you want tomorrow to be the most beautiful day of your life, then spend some time today thinking about the end. Think about life as if it was over, as if someone had a gun to your head (because time does!). When you awake tomorrow, feel grateful. You have been given a reprieve. Live like you’re on borrowed time. Because you are….Every day is a bonus. Now go treat it as such.
Some days I meditate (think) that I was given a cancer diagnosis or ALS or a death sentence and have only three, six months, 12 months left to live. Doing so is the opposite of scary. It’s a tremendously helpful exercise that helps one live more presently, realizing that our mere existence here is a gift. Just being here is a statistically miraculous event, so we should treat it as such. Wake up, we are alive today! This is worth celebrating every morning.
Living on borrowed time means: Love more, live more, laugh more, take on more challenges, forget the crap, argue less, worry less. Could care less about a bad driver or bad weather or a parking ticket or a bad break. When you live on borrowed time, you zoom out and see the bigger picture, unfazed by the business and monotony and the small stuff.
“When a man has said, ‘I have lived!’ then every morning he arises is a bonus.” -- Seneca
To me, it’s unfortunate that it takes a near-death experience for one to be enlightened. We don’t need to live so mindfully, like each day is precious, just because we’re told by a doctor we have only a few months to live. We can do that now, even when we’re healthy, or young, or in good spirits/shape regardless of age. We can choose to live as if our existence today is a gift...because it is. Consider how much more appreciative we could be to simply share a meal with a friend, go for a walk, breathe in the beautiful air around us, and look around at what beauty lies before us.
Notes from Will Smith’s interview with Jay Shetty:
There’s no such thing as a bad experience
Smith contemplated suicide twice, including at age 12 when his parents separated. But he says, “I have cultivated only positive things out of the most negative things in my life.”
Always says a good, thorough goodbye to loved ones. “Never say goodbye to someone casually.”
Every moment is so rich. “That’s how you’re supposed to live anyway. Be in the richness of your hellos and goodbyes. It’s a kind of recognition that tomorrow is not promised.”
Call the person or cousin you had a thing with. Talk to the person you have a disagreement with or haven’t talked in years. It’s not worth it to let the hard feelings continue.
“We are born into a perpetual perplexing situation. You have to elevate above the whole thing.”
Smith also touched on cutting out screen time and owning his mornings to set the tone for the day.
Limiting time on our phones
The other day at Starbucks, everyone was on their phone. At lunch, nearly half of the people were on their iPhone. Facebook, Instagram, texts, alerts, stocks, etc. Our lives happen on our phone. Enough! I need to be much better here, especially on checking texts and stock prices intraday. Many of us can be better. People joked that on Oct. 4, when Facebook went dark for a few hours, Americans were more productive and happy than at any other point in years. The point holds true.
Thus, here are a few pieces of advice from Simon Sinek for using your smartphone:
Don't keep your phone by your bed at night: You don't want your phone to be the first thing you check when you wake up in the morning. Why? Because you're letting other people's texts/emails/tweets/news set the tone for your day instead of starting things off the way you want to.
Don't keep your phone on the table when you're talking to a friend or business colleague: If you're constantly checking your phone while you're with someone else what you are basically telling that person is, "What you're saying to me is not as important as what might be coming through my phone right now."
No cell phones in conference rooms: An interesting point that Sinek makes is that you don't even want people to be checking their phones before a meeting. When we're sitting in a conference room waiting for a meeting to start we can have conversations with our co-workers. It's when we can learn about them and bond. Those priceless interactions can't happen if we're all scrolling through our phones.
Don't fill every empty moment with your phone: A friend gets up to go to the bathroom while you're at lunch and the first thing you do is check your phone because heaven forbid you spend a few minutes just looking around the restaurant. You're in line at the grocery store and you start scrolling through email. What you're depriving yourself of are moments where your mind can wander and new ideas and breakthroughs can occur.
I'll add:
Turning off my phone for periods of time (hour, two hours, three) has been effective
Leaving phone in other room helps
“No phone” dinners/events are growing in popularity
Deleting stock and Coinbase apps helps
Putting phone in airplane mode to get 1-2 hours worth of things done is effective for some people
"Is technology using you or are you using it?"
Five things to quit right now:
Trying to please everyone
Fearing change
Living in the past
Putting yourself down
Overthinking
Advice from James Clear on problem solving:
Solve big problems early.
Rebound after one missed workout, not a decade of inactivity. Repair a strained relationship the next day, not years later. Fix overspending before it becomes a lifestyle. Problems with simple solutions at first become difficult to unwind over time.
This is a challenge many of us face, myself included. Maybe we think pushing off a problem will make it easier down the road. Or we simply don't want to deal with it. But it almost always backfires to push things off — workouts, work projects, tough conversations, etc. Sometimes, what we need is five seconds of courage to push through the uncomfortable. — MG
Photo of the week: Kayaked at Green Lakes State Park. I’m trying to be outside as much as possible this fall to enjoy the crisp New York air. On the kayak, I feel very alive. The air is still and peaceful on lakes. The clouds reflect off the surface of the water. There’s hardly any sound, just the paddles hitting the water.
Parting thought: “See everyone you meet as an opportunity to practice kindness and the rest will take care of itself. I promise” — Seneca
Be joyful and celebrate your gifts,
Matthew