A few weeks before he died at 91, my wife Ally's great uncle, Valerio, shared his advice for a long marriage. No speech, no principles, no rambling. Though it was hard to hear him, he just repeated one line a few times, so we’d really hear it:
“You have to listen to each other.”
After a lifetime of love, that was the lesson he chose to leave behind. 💛
And probably as important in business and relationships as it is in marriage.
I’ve been thinking about how hard that is, to really listen, not to respond, not to fix, not to jump in. To be there and hear someone fully is so simple, yet not so easy. I’m not yet great at it, but I want to be better, especially with Ally and the people closest to me.
Maybe things get a little better, everywhere, if more of us did.
A couple of questions I’m sitting with:
When was the last time you felt truly listened to?
Who in your life deserves more of your attention, without interruption or agenda?
Who in your life is a remarkable listener?
Years ago, in Gettysburg, I heard or read a story about Abraham Lincoln that resonated with me. During the American Civil War, he would let advisors speak at length, even when he disagreed, usually sitting and taking it all in before saying a word. People said they left those meetings feeling heard, even when he didn’t take their advice. That ability to listen built trust in moments when the country was breaking apart.
Different scale, same principle.
Celebrate your life,
Matthew
