Life is one big vacation rental
"Every day is a small lifetime. Live a good life today." -- James Clear
Hi friends,
A few thoughts on my mind over the last couple of weeks:
We remember kindness. The mind can be a wonderful space in that it helps us remember what others have done for our benefit, even if the event was many years ago. Not only does the mind recall “bigger” kind acts — such as the teacher or tutor or coach who stayed after school to practice with us, or a person who said an encouraging word during a difficult time — but the mind works in profound ways when it recalls the one-off acts. Sometimes, those acts move us to be a little kinder and gentler ourselves.
One of those instances happened in July, when Ally and I were hiking at Acadia National Park in Maine. As the sun was setting, we returned to the Jordan Pond information booth area and parking lot, only to realize the last shuttle of the day had departed. Our van was six miles away at the main visitor center, it was around 8 p.m., and we were losing daylight. But we had few other choices than to start walking toward it, hopeful that a friendly stranger would pick us up.
We walked. About 10-15 minutes later, I threw my thumb up in the air. Six or seven cars passed until a red jeep came along. It seemed to slow down as if we might be picked up, but it continued onward. Yet three or four minutes later, the red jeep was again coming in the opposite direction, toward us. It slowed down. “Do you need a ride?” a woman asked. We jumped in.
The woman was Lori, who was traveling in the park with her husband, Al. They were from New Hampshire, and Lori said that as they passed us the first time, she thought: “We couldn’t just leave you guys.” So they turned around, picked us up, and took us back to the visitor center. The kind act and subsequent conversation about Maine & New Hampshire left a lasting impression on us. We’ve since kept in touch via text, mostly about travel and enjoying time outdoors.
While on the subject of kind acts…
We regret failed acts of kindness. The writer George Saunders said in 2013 that most of his life regrets are about failures of service, “Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded ... sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.”
This got me thinking of several times I wish I stepped in with kindness — they are moments that stick in my head with great clarity, despite their relative trivialness. Well, maybe that’s the point: They aren’t trivial, and that’s why they remain in my memory.
“Be kind when possible. It is always possible.” — Dalai Lama
There was a time, many times, really, when a fellow student was being picked on or made fun of, and I didn’t step in to stop it, or at least offer the victim a reassuring word. Early this year, I regretted not helping a woman carry her suitcase up a flight of stairs. There was also a time when I thought a colleague did a stellar job on a piece, and I didn’t mention it to her.
Roberto Clemente, a hero of mine, said, "Any time you have an opportunity to make a difference in this world and you don't, then you are wasting your time on Earth."
Simplicity reigns. I heard the other day that Steve Jobs would ask colleagues at Apple something along the lines of, “What have you said ‘no’ to lately? What are you eliminating? In what ways are your reducing?” The idea was to focus, say “no,” stop multitasking, and stay in line. Jobs is known for saying, “Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” Simplicity is where progress tends to lie.
This means saying “no” to a cluttered mind, many tabs on the browser, and many notifications. It means designated set times for email, set times for deep, creative work, and set times for no cell phone in sight. Fewer meetings, fewer obligations, and more free space to brainstorm and come up with ideas and projects that move the needle.
This week, I’ve deleted more apps on my phone, stopped checking social media, and revitalized the idea of keeping my phone away from the bedroom (no screen right before bed or right after waking up). I now have a little Mr. Jobs in my head asking, “What are you eliminating?”
Life is one big vacation rental. I believe this to be true for many of us: think of life as a big vacation rental. It’s a rental because that’s all we’re doing here: renting time, space, and a body in which our hearts and souls reside. We’re here for a “blip on the radar screen of eternity,” as writer Rich Cohen frames it. We live on a planet full of natural beauty, good food to eat, people to see and love, and passions to pursue. Framing life as a vacation, which is temporary, has helped heighten my sense of being and live more for today — for rich experiences. When we train ourselves to think of life this way, it might lighten the load we carry, the baggage, the pressure, and the self-doubt.
Nature heals. Being outside on Earth is a precious privilege many of us probably don’t use enough. Short walks can help clear your mind. Quick peeks at the sunset help us reset and look toward a new day. Opening the window in the home office or kitchen gives us a sense of belonging to the natural air, thanks to the crisp outside air we breathe in.
Writing in my journal and doing a work brainstorming session, outdoors:
Unfortunately, so much of modern society demands that we be indoors, mostly in front of screens. We usually sleep, eat, work, socialize, and get entertained indoors. Yet many of us have the power to eschew the trend and get back outdoors. This year, a friend of mine in Pittsburgh posted on LinkedIn how he tries to take his Zoom meetings and calls outside while walking, breathing fresh air, and stretching his legs, all while getting some sun and Vitamin D. Ditto.
Other tactics include: eating outside, working out outside, reading outside, journaling outside, and meeting with others outside. Here I was the other day, in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park, taking in a beautiful September afternoon while doing a Zoom and some writing from a park bench:
As humans, we were designed, like all other animals, to live outside, connected with nature. The outdoors is our natural office and play space. The time to embrace it is now, just as we start to enter another transition of seasons.
Photo of the week: In the spirit of nature, my dad and I visited Pennsylvania’s Ricketts Glen State Park for a hike:
Parting thought: “Each day is a small lifetime. Live a good life today.” — James Clear
Be joyful and celebrate your gifts,
Matthew