Building true wealth that lasts
More than bank account value: love, kindness and meaning
Hi friends,
Wealth is usually associated with money and big homes, and other similar assets, but the concept carries greater meaning in other areas. Forget yachts, fancy watches, and high-end cars. Show me someone who has showed up for others, stayed true to their word, and done the right thing even when it was the hard thing — that’s real wealth.
In my book, spending time with family and friends, while doing meaningful work you enjoy, is a rich life, regardless of salary, title, or external recognition. Showing up for a neighbor or friend in need is building wealth. So is helping a tourist through the subway turnstile, buying dinner for the homeless vet on the street, and encouraging a deflated friend to keep going.
Here are a few short manifestations of lasting wealth that I have been thinking about:
Kindness wealth: Anne Frank wrote, “You can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!” Perhaps the noblest of all wealth, kindness comes at no cost. We ought to be kind to ourselves, to others, and to the planet. Not only is doing kind acts the right thing, but kindness allows us to experience positive mental and physical changes by lowering stress levels and increasing the body's production of feel-good hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin.
When we are kind to others, we feel like we are making a contribution. Although our society likes to reward achievements more than kindness, the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate is still one of humanity’s greatest assets. Kindness is more than being nice — it’s behavior marked by acts of generosity and consideration for others, without expecting praise or reward. What kindness wealth have you experienced?
When we focus on service, pressure and stress tend to fade away. By serving others and not only ourselves, much seems to fall into place. No matter our job, age, or where we live, kindness can make our days rich because it fosters a joyful connection with fellow humans, which we naturally cherish and benefit from.
One approach worth trying comes from The On Being Project’s Krista Tippett. On days I have focused almost solely on spreading what kindness I can, I realize the great domino effect that unfolds: One kindness can change another person’s mood, and they can then spread that goodness elsewhere, and so on.
“What an incredible power we have, to walk through the world, making somebody’s day.” — Krista Tippett
Time wealth: Younger people can be called “time billionaires,” a phrase coined by Graham Duncan, the co-founder of East Rock Capital, to refer to someone who has a billion or more seconds left in their life (about 31 years). Most people probably wouldn’t switch places with Warren Buffett because, while you could be one of the richest people in the world, you would also have to be 92 years old. Time matters, and how we spend it ultimately decides how we live.
Each of us runs out of time. Each of us has only so many holiday gatherings with loved ones. And each of us has only so many weekends or days off to travel, explore and pursue the projects we’ve always dreamed of. A little sense of urgency can go a long way toward pushing us to be better versions of ourselves. To build time wealth, we ought to be judicious about how we spend our time, asking ourselves frequently, “Is this truly necessary?” for everything from trips and projects to mindless social media scrolling.
Experience wealth: To me, this is reading, listening, and learning. What is it to you?Maybe it’s maintaining an open mind and embracing life’s experiences, mundane moments, and transitions, even when they’re uncomfortable. Experience wealth is having tried and tried again, successful or not. It’s building a “foundation,” knowing that even dead ends, failed experiments, and mistakes can be building blocks toward something better or more meaningful.
Love wealth: When Ally and I started dating, she told me that, to her, love is really about caring: feeling concern and genuine interest toward the other person. That has stuck with me ever since. What is love wealth to you? Maybe it’s love of another person, a particular place, or a craft or art worth pursuing in your free time.
To be awash with love, to have unconditional support and care — that is one of life’s treasures. And it starts with loving ourselves.
One beautiful passage:
"One day you will realize that happiness is not what your house looks like, but how you love the people within its walls. Happiness is not finding success by a certain time, but finding something you love so much time itself seems to disappear. Happiness is not thinking you have earned the world's approval, but waking up each day and feeling so at peace within your own skin, quietly anticipating the day ahead, unconcerned with how you are perceived. Happiness is not having the best of everything, but the ability to make the best of anything. Happiness is knowing you did what you could with what you were given. Happiness is not something that comes to us when every problem is solved and all things are perfectly in place, but in the shining silver linings that remind us of the light of day is always there, if we slow down enough to notice."
― Brianna Wiest, The Mountain is You
21-day no complain challenge: When you complain, you increase your levels of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. Join me starting today in 21 consecutive days of no complaining. No complaints about society, politics, work, communities, family, friends, pet peeves — none. Let’s make a conscious effort and catch ourselves when we do complain.
Photos of late:
Parting question: Regularly ask yourself, “Does this truly matter?”
Celebrate your gifts,
Matthew