Building Community and Compassion

Brooklyn's Miles Kirsch invites everyone to tea time

Hey friends,

Compassion warms the depths of the soul — its gentle rays can shine light into the forgotten crevices of suffering. Compassion’s glow brings soothing, because it encompasses kindness, understanding, and a willingness to extend oneself to offer support, comfort, or aid to others, regardless of their background or circumstances.

Compassion's serene glow draws inward, coaxing open the clenched fists of bitterness with soothing brushes of understanding. Resentments fall away, and connections rekindle between human hearts and human plights. Compassion is sublime grace manifested — the emergence of what might be noblest within us all.

I mention this because I was deeply moved when I heard of Miles Kirsch, my friend and fellow Brooklynite who serves free tea to anyone who pleases. There’s no catch, just a warm welcome and freshly brewed tea inviting all humans who want to pause and partake in this tranquil embrace.

After spending a few hours with Miles on a chilly Sunday afternoon, his space of togetherness shined through. Each cup poured — he’s handed out over 1,600 free cups — is a gesture of generosity. He’s formed a tapestry of unity that transcends the boundaries of age, culture, skin color, and creed. He’s brought together friends, neighbors, locals, out-of-towners, and strangers, their laughter ringing out like a chorus of joy. He’s just beginning.

A sampling of what I overheard at The Tea Stand on a recent afternoon at Maria Hernandez Park:

“So, can I get you a cup of tea, please?”

“I enjoyed my time. Thank you.”

“Take care, be well.”

“Here’s your cup.”

“Would you like to take a seat?”

While sipping green tea, Miles and I spoke about The Tea Stand, his intentions, and building community, only a few weeks after he was named Spectrum News’ NYer of the Week, when he said: “Tea really cuts through a lot of the fear that we have when interacting with strangers. It breaks down a lot of barriers and kind of grounds you in the interaction.”

The interview has been lightly edited for brevity and clarity.

How did the idea for The Tea Stand come about?

Before I moved to New York City, I was visiting Sunset Park on a cold December day, shivering, as we are now. I was hoping there would be somebody in the park offering tea for sale. I thought about it and I didn’t think I had ever seen somebody offering tea in a park. I thought, what if I did that? It was a very simple thought, but it kind of stuck with me and it sounded like it could be a really fun project. Exactly one year later, I set up right here in Maria Hernandez Park for the first time. That showed me how beautiful it can be to just open yourself up to the kindness and curiosities of strangers.

How many cups have you handed out in total?

The grand total is around 1,600 cups. February was about 479 cups. The number will probably increase dramatically over time. 

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You stamp the lid on each cup of tea. Why?

The custom stamp is a reminder as people take their cups to go that there’s real thought and care in this. I don’t want to force a whole spiel on anyone who just wants some tea, but maybe they realize someone just offered them a free cup of tea in a park. That’s something that never really happens. The custom stamp also helps acknowledge that someone put care into this — it’s not just a compostable paper cup. There's a little something special to it.

You’ve talked about calmness and mindfulness with The Tea Stand. What do those qualities mean to you and your mission?

Mindfulness is a huge part of The Tea Stand, both for me and for visitors. For myself, I see my presence here as one of active curiosity and engagement with my environment. Part of my purpose for being here is to provide a space for other people and show that I'm invested in my community and my neighborhoods, and mindfulness is a way to demonstrate that. I'm not here to promote something. I'm not scrolling on my phone in between visitors. I am fully here, I'm fully present for whatever energy comes my way, whatever visitor comes my way. I'm paying attention to what's happening in the park and, sometimes, noticing problems with the park. I’m encouraging folks to get involved in their communities and play a role.

Mindfulness is this very simple thing that can be a real catalyst for change in a positive way. For example, we’re out here in the cold, accepting that it’s not going to be a comfortable experience. I’m committed to that. My whole intention is to be out here when people need it the most. 

How do you set up and where do you get the tea and supplies?

All of the tea is donated mostly by people who want to support this. The other is from tea donations. I’ll announce that I’m biking around for a day, accepting tea donations. People can tell me where they live and what time they’re available. I’ll plan a route and pick up the tea to stock back up. The water is simple: I have a collapsible water jug that’s 2.5 gallons. I also have a camping stove to heat up the water, and I have a thermos to keep the water at 170°F, which is what I serve at. That’s the optimal temperature for warm tea without burning peoples’ mouths, and most teas steep around that temperature. 

What I'm setting out to do is create a place where neighbors can meet each other. Park visitors can be encouraged to be curious and be mindful and be still and enjoy a gift from another community member.

What kinds of interactions have resonated with you?

Interactions with children stand out. They kind of break the norm of everyday conversation and allow you to see things in a new light. Once, I was driving through Little Rock, Arkansas, and I set up The Tea Stand. A child about 12 years old came up to me. He had this precocious energy about him, and he said he was learning how to skateboard at the time. He started talking to me about what he's been learning as he's learning how to skateboard, then he shared larger takeaways that he's gleaned as far as recognizing that you have to fail at first, but how one shouldn’t be deterred by that. He also said he was learning from the people around him and bringing his own style to this kind of art form. He was speaking about it with such clarity and understanding.

Toward the end of the interaction, he looked at me. The thing about interacting with children is I'm in a very low position at The Tea Stand, so I'm perfectly eye to eye with children. I’m looking straight into his eyes and he’s like, ‘When I grow up, I want to do exactly what you’re doing. You’re on the right path, just keep going.’ 

That's not something a kid really tells you. If anything, that's something that you tell a kid. For the roles to be reversed and for him to have displayed this kind of deep understanding of life and then to say those words completely broke through all of the barriers. That really left a lasting impact on me.

What has been your relationship with tea? How does tea fit into your life? Did you grow up on it?

I didn't make myself a cup of tea until I was 20 years old. Even then, I wasn't all that excited about it. I didn't drink any caffeine throughout college. No coffee, no tea. It wasn’t a discipline thing, it was just not in my orbit. But I traveled around North Africa and the Middle East on a solo backpacking six-week adventure. That’s when things started to change for me. 

In the Middle East and North Africa, tea houses are cultural meeting points. There's really no alcohol presence. At night, that’s where people congregate, converse, and connect. I fell in love with the energy in those tea houses. After that, I was in Singapore, where tea is more of a culinary experience. I had milk with my tea, and I drank green tea. I began to understand the flavors of tea. 

When I returned to the U.S., I found that tea culture is really only here in pockets. The local tea house isn’t really the neighborhood spot. 

What is The Tea Stand really about?

It’s not really about tea. Tea connotes the values that I'm hoping to encourage and promote, which are curiosity, calmness, mindfulness, and stillness. But you don't have to like tea to come to The Tea Stand. It's not about tea, it's the tea that facilitates the interactions.

If I were just here with a sign that said, ‘Free conversation for all,’ I think it would be a wildly different experience. Tea is just a natural means for connecting people and setting the tone for the interactions I hope to have.

Do you hope to run The Tea Stand full-time?

I've been working on The Tea Stand full time for several months. My hope is that it can sustain me financially, which is very different from financial gain. I live at a very low cost of living. The hope is that I can sustain this with a membership program, which would be recurring monthly donations. There would be some perks offered in return.

Hopefully, that would allow me to support myself and commit to this even more. If I knew this could be my livelihood for the foreseeable future, it would enable even more opportunities and allow further commitments as far as longer-term visions. The plan is to fund tea stands around the US, maybe globally. I’d open-source how all of it works, write up a manifesto and a code of ethics, how I operate The Tea Stand, and then essentially make this a decentralized organization that anyone can pick up.

I will fund all of the one-time costs such as the table, the chair, and so on.

Tell us about your path to Northeastern University and your post-college path thus far.

I studied bioengineering at Northeastern, which has a co-op program, where you alternate between coursework and full-time internships. I graduated Northeastern with a year and a half of full time work experience. That set me up for a full-time job not meant for someone with a Bachelor’s degree, because I had experience in a niche field of computational biology. I was a competitive enough candidate to get the job.

Northeastern also strongly encourages travel, and it’s a pretty flexible curriculum. That North Africa, Middle East, and Singapore trip, that was a leave of absence from Northeastern. After that, I landed a great full-time position in biotech, cancer and COVID research. Computational biology is the name of the field. Essentially: data science meets biotech.

I got promoted a couple of times within my first couple of years there. The reason I say that is because I felt like I was hitting a lot of milestones, and I was able to be financially independent and live really comfortably at an age when I wasn't expecting to have that. That led to disillusionment with those goals being endpoints. Success to me was being promoted, but experiencing it firsthand allowed me to recognize that that's not what fulfills me.

I had enough savings where I could quit my full-time job (October 2022) and redefine success. I realized that it was really about relationships. It was really about a sense of community and aligning my values with my lifestyle. Those things were not in sync, because my values have been anti-capitalism and spending time with loving, compassionate people, not designing a therapy that was going to cost a million dollars — for a great medical need, no doubt — but within our system it’s not something that I see as accessible.

Seeing day-to-day life here, seeing many people not having enough to make ends meet, created this real conflict and tension. For me, the money and the achievement of certain things created the conditions for me to start anew and connect with myself in a deeper way.

What’s an average day for you now?

I work five or six days a week. Fridays are my days off, where I don't allow myself to touch The Tea Stand. Otherwise, I’m planning events and collaborations, working on the website or newsletter, or doing graphic design. I drink three cups of tea per day, usually a black or Oolong tea in the morning, a green or white tea in the afternoon, and an herbal tea at night.

How often do you host events in your apartment?

There are two events. One is called Steeped In Sound, an intimate tea and DJ event in Greenpoint. It’s a several-hour event with DJs and free-flowing tea from me. We start that event with a guided meditation. That’s about once every other month. Tea Talks are hosted in my apartment. It’s a small group conversation with a specific topic for about two hours, with tea, of course. It's five of us seated on the floor chatting, drinking tea.

Final thoughts?

I'm just really appreciative of you being here and drinking some tea with me.

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Here is The Tea Stand’s website, Instagram page and newsletter.

Celebrate your gifts,

Matthew