25 lessons after 25 years ❤️ (2022)
Reflecting on a quarter century of life on this beautiful Earth
“The very same interaction, the very same experience, can be either mundane or spiritual. The only difference between the two is how I live it.” – Christiana Figueres
"Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement [to] get up in the morning and look around at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually.” - Abraham Joshua Herschel
Hey friends,
As I celebrate my 27th birthday this weekend, I want to share with you a few lessons and observations. It often feels as though time is flying by at an astonishing pace. Days blend into weeks, and weeks into months, leaving us wondering where the moments have gone. The rapid passage of time serves as a reminder of the importance of cherishing every little thing, like the way the sun rises every morning, without fail.
I’ve learned that there’s little to no value in reflecting on how damn fast time seems to be passing by. As the saying goes, growing old sure beats the alternative.
Below lies my post on my 25th birthday: 25 lessons after 25 years, from March 2022. But before that, I’ve added the following two points to celebrate years 26 & 27:
Dust yourself off, over and over. My friend Sandy Bograd notes that her late mother, Molly, said it best: “That’s why they put erasers on pencils…if you make a mistake or you don’t like something, erase it and try something else.” (Experiment mindset — everything can be viewed as an experiment, something to be tested and learned from.)
Maria Popova reminds us to love others deeply, and highlights the miracle of being here on Earth: “Think of anyone you love. The potential people who could be alive in their place — people who could have been made with the same DNA, people who never got to be born — outnumbers the stars in the Milky Way. And instead the miracle of this one beloved being, born of austere chance events stretching back to the Big Bang, the tiniest change in which would have made them never exist at all. How can we know this and not love more deeply….We too are living in a wonderland, as real as it is improbable, for nowhere else across the inky vastness of spacetime strewn with billions upon billions of other star systems is there another world lush with life, as far as we yet know.”
Here’s the post from 2022 — 25 lessons and reflections at age 25, mostly reminders to myself:
Today, I celebrate my 25th birthday, so I want to share 25 lessons and reflections based on my life of happy moments, stressful times, joyous memories, regrets, anxiety, reading/learning, and love.
Caretake this moment. The present is what makes our life. Despite everything going on around us, take good care of this precious moment, pay attention to the details of ordinary life. (We don’t want to fall into the trap of overvaluing the things we don’t have and undervaluing what we do.)
A calm mind, fit body and house full of love is all you ask for. (H/T Naval)
Spend less time, energy and money on what’s not essential.
Don’t complain when it rains. Feel its wetness. Don’t complain when it’s hot out — feel the warmth.
Give yourself the gift of silence and time (or a nice walk outside) before letting the urge of yelling/arguing/judging gets the best of you.
Feel what you are feeling. It’s OK — there is peace in this moment, it can be found.
You can make an art out of anything. Basically, everything is interesting if you go deep enough.
Resist the urge of consumerism, or feeling the ‘need’ to have XYZ. Being here, being alive, waking up to this moment: That is the greatest gift.
A full life is not smooth. It’s about being, at times, in no-man’s land, experiencing moments as new and as something to be embraced.
The little things really are the big things.
Reflect on your miracle story, how magical it is that we are here breathing on Earth. All of it was a longshot, all of it is a miracle.
The best drug is an hour of exercise or good conversation with someone you love.
Approaching each situation as an experiment — ‘failure’ is merely research — lowers the stakes and makes life more fun.
The best gift we can give someone is our undivided attention — the gift of awareness, too. It costs no money.
All of the conditions for happiness already exist in the here and now, not in some distance future of success, fame, money or power. Happiness is an outcome, not a goal. It is the result of fulfillment, when we stop constantly striving and craving.
Action decides mood. Just start, rather than wait for the ‘perfect’ time or inspiration.
I’ve been hard on myself, sometimes too hard. Zoom out, be easy, let go. Don’t take yourself or what you do too seriously. We’re not getting out of this life alive.
Find joy in the little moments, even if they’re brief. Travel is good for the heart. Read as much as you can to nourish your mind and soul.
The climb is the fun part (there is no ‘arrival’).
Want purpose? We can start by being the best person we can be today, in this moment.
“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” — Rumi
Never resist the urge to do a good act of kindness.
Setting low expectations can help mitigate disappointment. Most of our disappointments are rooted in expectations that aren’t fair to ourselves.
“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” — Hemingway
This life is pretty short, so connect, love, laugh, forgive, and be gentle with yourself and those around you.
Parting quote, from Morrie Schwartz, Tuesdays with Morrie:
“As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still here. All the memories are still there. You live on—in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.”
Another 25 years on Earth is no guarantee for me, but I remain grateful for this day — each day is a precious gift to be cared for and immersed in. Let that guide us forward to lead a rich life of love, kindness and meaning.
Wishing you all peace and good health.
Love,
Matthew
P.S. — I’m trying to take more time to enjoy where I am, right now, in this moment, with the people I love. Thus, a few photos with mom, dad and Ally. Much love. ❤️
Loved reading this Matthew!
Belated Happy Birthday! Hope you had a great start to another year on this beautiful planet✨